I don’t think I am alone in saying that I have a complicated relationship with my body image. During one day, I can go from feeling confident to insecure and back again multiple times. I can wake up and think my ‘flaws’ aren’t that bad, then be worrying about them by the time I’ve had breakfast.
For the most part, I think this relationship will always be just a little bit backwards and forwards. With all of the influences in the media and online, it would be silly of me to think that I could ever become completely immune to the pressure to look a certain way. I can surround myself with more positive role models and work on my confidence, but I know that some insecurities will just always be a part of who I am.
Having a facial birthmark plays a big part in this. Aside from hearing comments about how different it makes me look, there’s the way it makes me feel. Growing up, whenever I looked at my face I didn’t think it was ‘normal’. I felt overly visible, conscious and a bit of a ‘freak’. I spent so much time wishing that I was normal.
But what even is normal?
Straight hair, long hair, short hair, curly hair, wavy hair, no hair – they’re all normal. Blue eyes, brown eyes, grey eyes, green eyes – they’re all normal too. Tall, short, fat, thin, curvy, athletic, muscular, skinny, toned – again, all normal.
So if all of those labels are normal and we can’t fit into every single one, then surely ‘normal’ is a much wider category than we are made the believe? Surely you are normal just as you are, even though it’s not the same as that celebrity or that influencer?
The truth is that the way to be ‘normal’ is to be yourself, whatever that means to you. You are the most normal thing in the world. I am the most normal thing in the world.
I could be thinner, yes. I could also be curvier. I could be more toned or I could be softer. I could dye my hair, pay for my nails doing, invest in expensive skincare or never wear makeup again. There are so many things I could do to change or reinvent myself, but right now I don’t think that’s needed. I’ve always been the person I was meant to be. I’ve always been ‘normal’.
For more positive posts, why not follow me on Instagram at @jesskitchingwrites?