This is a bit of a different post for me but I want to take a look at myself, particularly at how far I have come since my sexual assault.
I’ve realised today that reflecting on myself in a positive way isn’t really something I ever do. I’m the queen of self deprecation and cannot count how many times this year I have brushed my achievements off, but today I want to say that I am grateful to myself.
I am grateful for surviving what could have pushed me over the edge.
I am grateful that, even on my darkest days, I never gave up on myself.
I am grateful to myself for still leading with kindness and compassion even when there were times I wanted to do the opposite.
The other day, I sat in the iconic Opera Bar in Sydney Harbour and had a moment where I realised that I have got myself to where I am today. Not just in the psychical sense of boarding the plane to Australia, but the emotional sense of not giving up and not giving into the trauma of my assault.
I’ve never sat down and genuinely said that I’m proud of myself for getting through what I did, but I am. I really, really am. I made myself get up and face every day, maybe not always in the healthiest of ways, but I did it. Today I am living in the place I’ve always dreamt of, pursuing personal dreams, in a loving relationship and surrounded by brilliant people… how could I not feel gratitude towards myself?
Whilst talking about ourselves isn’t something that comes naturally to a lot of us, I know that I will always, always be grateful to the person I used to be and to the person I have allowed myself to become. I think it’s about time I started to give myself the credit and recognition I deserve for doing so.
In what ways are you grateful to yourself?
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