Changing Your Dreams Is Not A Failure

When I first moved to Australia, all I wanted to do was write full time. To work as a writer has always been my dream. Moving to Australia was a huge accomplishment, but to write for a living too? What an achievement!

So I did what I set out to do – I stayed home and I wrote every day.

And do you know something?

It wasn’t what I thought it would be at all.

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I was lonely and isolated. I’d left everyone I knew to move to Australia, yet because of working from home I wasn’t able to go out and make new connections without really pulling myself out of my comfort zone.

If I wasn’t working all day, every day, I felt guilty. I thought people would think of me as a ‘slacker’.

I gained weight.

I was scared to go out of the house on my own.

When asked what I did for a living, a few people’s dismissive comments stuck with me and so I felt judged by everyone who asked me even if they were genuinely interested in my writing.

In short, I caved in on myself.

I lost my sparkle.

I realised that, for my own mental health and wellbeing, I needed to get out. Staying home and writing full time wasn’t for me. I needed to be around people. I needed a ‘normal’ job.

So I got one.

And do you know something? This job has been the best thing I’ve ever done.

I work in education, an area I feel confident in and passionate about. I leave work feeling like I have made a difference. I have Tuesdays and Wednesday’s off so I have time to write, yet work enough days in the week to be around people in a meaningful way.

My life feels full again.

If I’m honest, initially I felt a little ashamed that I’d ‘caved’ and got a ‘real’ job. What if people were mocking me for ‘giving up’? Would I be able to balance both careers or was my writing going to slip? Could I call myself a writer if I was a manager and a teacher too?

Had I given up on my dream?

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These thoughts worried me at first, but they don’t anymore.

I realised that it didn’t matter what other people thought. I realised that dreams and ambitions evolve just like people do. I realised that I needed to put my mental health first. I was struggling and I changed it… what’s there to be ashamed of in that?

And as far as worrying if I’m still a writer – I write. I make time for myself to write. ‘Real’ job or no ‘real’ job, I’m a writer.

My point is, never be afraid to chase your dreams. And, most importantly, never be afraid to change them if they no longer serve you.

To follow my writing journey, why not follow me on Instagram at @jesskitchingwrites?

1 Comment

  1. Love this post so much!! It’s so relatable. Changing your dreams isn’t failure, because it’s just another form of growth. Great read, and thanks for sharing!

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