What do you do when you’ve achieved your biggest dream?

Ever since I was fourteen, I have wanted to live in Australia.

My goal to live here was something I told people about when we first met. It factored into every decision I made. I went into teaching because it was a globally recognised profession. I saved for years to afford my travels around this wonderful country. The day I booked my flights here was one of the happiest days of my life.

I told myself that even if I hated it and things didn’t work out, at least I’d have done it. I’d have followed my dream. I wouldn’t live my life with a nagging ‘what if?’ in the back of my mind. I knew that I could never properly settle in England, or anywhere, until I had lived the Aussie experience.

Well, I’m here now. I’ve done it… so what next?

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Honestly, I don’t know.

I love it here, but I miss people from back home. We have a two year visa, but after that who knows. Our life is good, but it was also good back in England. For every pro, there is a con. For every highlight, there is something to miss.

For now, I live to enjoy every day rather than every day being a stepping stone to the goal I am working towards. Home is waiting for us should we choose to go back, or need to when our visa expires, but whilst we are here we live a good, happy life. It’s the life I used to imagine and hope for.

But sometimes I miss Australia being my dream.

There’s something strange about no longer having the thing that drove 99% of your decisions in your life anymore. Sometimes I feel a little lost, like I don’t have an anchor to keep me going. Other times I feel free and like the world is full of possibilities.

There are, of course, other things I want to achieve in my life. I want to have a book published, for starters. I have a wish list of places to visit. I want to plan our wedding. I’d like to start a family one day.

But Australia was my burning dream, the thing that kept me up at night, the thing that I wanted in my core. I’m so proud that I’ve achieved it, but sometimes I miss not having that goal to centre my life around.

Here’s hoping that 2020 brings me a little clarity and a little more understanding about what comes next, but ultimately, I’m just so happy (and proud!) that we made it here.

To follow my Australian adventures, follow me on Instagram at @jesskitchingwrites

6 Comments

  1. Funny coincidence – coming to Aus was a dream of mine since I was 14 too. It was difficult at the start especially as I knew no one and came here at 21. But now, 15 years on, I’ve built my life here and it’s home and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    Re what you’ve said though about living and enjoying every day – I think that’s so essential. So often we keep looking at the next thing, and the next, and the next and ticking off all those boxes we think we need, that we forget to enjoy and just be. It’s something that’s on my mind a lot lately. Would love to chat more about all this and more 🙂

    1. You have literally put into words everything I think/feel haha I spend so much time panicking about where I am, if I’ve done this and that and what I’m ‘supposed’ to do… it’s tiring!! We definitely should meet for book chat and more 💕 let me know when is best for yin 😊

  2. I felt the same way when I moved to London! It was a lifelong dream achieved at 22 years old. I was so happy to be there but felt the “what next?” as well. It’s tough knowing it’ll be temporary too. Focus on goals that can follow you wherever you live. I’m still working on it too. 😉

    1. Congratulations on achieving your dream! I always think we forget to congratulate ourselves on that! But you’re right, focusing on my goals here is a big help. I guess there’s always something to work on isn’t there?!

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